The bill came in two separate installments, and my husband realized the problem too late.

I realized that since I had a steady job, I could afford the occasional meal without turning every family gathering into a fight over money.

But the exception has become the norm.

This custom turned into an expectation.

I discovered this in the simplest way: by observing what they asked for when they thought I would pay.

The difference was huge.

Once everyone assumed they should take responsibility for their own consumption, normal options emerged.

But once my card was placed on the table, everything changed.

Lobster.

More expensive pieces.

Special drinks.

Desserts.

One more bottle.

And anything that someone could justify with the words “since we’re already here.”

This sentence started to irritate me long before I even admitted why.