Not often, but enough.
I could see it in his face whenever your name came up — something that wasn’t there when he talked about anything else.*
*I told you he had moved on because I was afraid.
I had loved James for two years by then, and I believed — I still believe — that he loved me too.
But I was terrified that if he saw you again, that would change.
So I lied.
I told you he was engaged to someone else.
I watched you walk back down that path, and I closed the door, and I never told him you had come.*
*Six months later I married him.*
*I have thought about that morning almost every day since.*
I had to stop again.
