When I opened my eyes again, I forced the words through the rawness in my throat.
“What happened?”
Maya looked toward the door.
It was only a glance, but I caught it.
Doctors learn to hear what people do not say. We learn to see hesitation, swallowed words, careful posture. Maya was not merely tired.
She was frightened.
“Dr. Reyes performed an emergency procedure,” she said. “You lost a lot of blood. There was uterine atony, tearing, and…” She stopped, choosing her words carefully. “There were complications from the length and difficulty of the delivery.”
My hand drifted to my abdomen.
There was pain there, but not the clean surgical pain of a planned cesarean. It was deeper. A battlefield ache.
“Did I code?”
Maya’s lips pressed together.
“For forty-seven seconds.”
Forty-seven seconds.
Less than a minute.
Long enough to leave a life behind.
Long enough for a husband to understand the meaning of a decision.
I stared at the window. Outside, the sky was turning blue, indifferent and beautiful.
“Where is Cameron?”
Maya’s expression tightened.
“He’s outside. He has been asking to see you.”
I waited for the familiar pull in my chest. The instinct to forgive before understanding. The reflex of seven years spent making room for his ambition, his long hours, his silences, his pride.
But all I felt was exhaustion.
Not hatred.
Not rage.
Something colder and quieter.
Distance.
