And all I could think, as the room slipped away, was that fear had arrived too late to be love.
When I woke, the world smelled different.
Not antiseptic and heat and panic.
Lavender.
Clean sheets.
A soft rhythmic beeping.
For a moment, I thought I was home. Then I tried to move, and a deep, aching heaviness pulled me back into the hospital bed.
My eyelids fluttered open.
The ceiling above me was pale gray. A curtain divided the room from the doorway. Beyond the window, dawn had begun to press a thin silver line over the city.
My throat felt scraped raw.
A nurse rose from the chair beside me so quickly her shoes squeaked.
“Dr. Grant?”
It was Maya, one of the labor nurses. Her usually neat bun was coming loose, and there were shadows beneath her eyes as if she had not slept all night.
I tried to speak.
Nothing came out.
Maya leaned closer. “Don’t force it. You were intubated for surgery.”
Surgery.
The word moved slowly through my mind.
There were gaps where memories should have been.
The flatline alarm. Elena’s voice. Cameron’s face.
Then one thought punched through the fog so violently my fingers clenched around the blanket.
My baby.
Maya saw the question before I could form it.
“He’s alive,” she said quickly. “He’s in the neonatal observation unit, but he’s stable. Ten pounds, four ounces. Strong lungs. A little bruised from the delivery, but he’s doing well.”
I closed my eyes.
The relief was so immense it hurt.
Tears slid down the sides of my face into my hair.
Maya pressed a tissue into my hand and, for a moment, said nothing. That silence was kinder than any reassurance.
